Run with God

DELL: not quite as light as AIR

Thanks to Cult of Mac for the find.

Free Berch Ringtones (or Jeff's attempt to jump on the Gesundheit Bandwagon and kick a man when he's down)

Berch,

Dude. Straight up. I went to the Duplication office today to pull the DVDs from last week's 12:30 service, so I could give you the copies. Someone told me what you said, and felt like the screwup didn't need to a matter of public record. I didn't realize Eric had put the video online (side note, Eric, way to flex that techie muscle on your blog)...

So, since it's now a part of the blogosphere...

Feel free to download Berch's Gesundheit-screwup and use it as an iPhone Ringtone. Yes, you too can listen to Berch lead by saying "Lift your hands, dance, sing, gesundheit " over and over again.

Don't believe me, call my cell phone this wknd... I'm making it my default ringtone. It would probably be helpful if you were standing next to me when you called.

Sadly, this beauty is only available for iPhone users. The rest of you, well, need to upgrade to the 3G iPhone coming out in less than a week.

Berch, just to show some love... I'm also giving you ringtones for Victory and Just a Taste... two songs that you wrote for the Live at Christ Fellowship CD that debuted last month. Quality stuff.

So enjoy.

And Berch, if you're wondering where this idea came from... I got an email from Your Mom's B. (Is that correct usage? I can't remember)...

(Photo cred: Z$)

UPDATE: After getting multiple requests, I am giving you the MP3 file for Gezhuncheit, so you non iPhone users (was there life before the iPhone?) can use the ringtone as well.

Jesus, meet Dinosaur... Dinosaur, Jesus

I'm speechless on this one...

Thanks to "Stuff Christians Like" for the satyrical laugh, and to Z$ for bringing it to my attn.

iDENTITY for sale, iNQUIRE within

Met with my Broadman & Holman rep this evening... and he excitedly showed me this...

Yep, time to buy Eric's new book, iDENTITY. The new B&H title is hitting the street, er, bookshelves September 1 and it's time to order copies for The Living Word.

BTW, I ordered 72 copies for the initial order.

For comparison:
* Initial order for Joel Osteen's "Become a Better You" was 90 copies
* Initial order for Ted Dekker's "Skin" was 36 copies
* Average initial order for any given frontlist (read: new) book: 2-3 copies

Yeah, Eric, hope your book is good. Otherwise, I've got to pay freight to send these bad boys back...

iDENTITY will be available @ The Living Word, as well as through the Media Resource Center at Christ Fellowship.

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye

I feel like a small part of me has died inside.

For the past five months, this has been the view from my office. By my office, I mean JR Lovin's office. Since I came on staff @ Christ Fellowship in January, well, I didn't have an office. My office was, well, an occupied storage closet w/no power, no phone, no AC, no Internet, no paint, no lock... so, yeah... storage closet...

JR was nice enough to offer to share his office with me. And by office I mean the couch in his office. But after five months of staring at the back of JRs head and listening to him have constant arguments with himself (talk about freaky) I'm finally ready to move into my storage closet office.

Don't know if it was the most productive arrangement for either of us, but at least it was educational, enjoyable, a glorified frat-party that occasionally allowed for serious time, an experience.

Thanks, JR. jreed

I thought I had a life

Thanks to Joy of Tech for the guilt trip perspective.

BTW, I scored 6 of 10. What'd you score?

Identifying with International Cultures

Lately I've enjoyed the Internationality of Miami. Truthfully, it was the reason we moved out of Texas... I love seeing all cultures blended together into the chaos that is Miami.

That carries over at Christ Fellowship as well. I knew the stats at one time, but we have something like 70 nationalities represented in CFs membership. And that statistic was done way before we went multisite. No telling how many there are now.

So there is always a struggle on staff with how to connect to the different nationalities. How can we connect with them?

One would think multilingual small groups (done it). Others would think multilingual worship (done it).

We go a step further at CF. We ask all our pastors to grow a massive amount of chest hair in attempts to connect with the Cuban community here in Miami. After all, if you got a rug on your chest, with some massive bling resting on top, you must be Cuban.

Thank you JR for raising the bar in multi-ethnical, missional ministry.

Thanks to Oscar Roque (a true Cuban) for providing an awesome entertainment break.

Polar Bears no longer around the Iceholes...

Bad news for the Polar Bear community... Evidently you are now a "Protected Species". NY Times once again has the article... Unfortunately, the bears aren't being killed off or threatened by the Greenhouse Effect... it's human hunters that are doing the damage.

One thing we have not considered yet is how many of these Polar Bears got magically transported to the LOST Island. Come on! They've got Polar Bears on a tropical island in the South Pacific... They've got Polar Bears in the middle of Afghanistan... Where else have these elusive creatures run off to?

Sad to say, I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to say:

The key to the game is in the name. The name of the game is Polar Bears around the Icehole. Planets around the Sun. Petals around the Flower. And/Or the many wives of Ghengis Kahn.

And while that may mean nothing to most of you, right now a couple hundred 18-26 year olds are letting out a collective "Oh crap! Not again!"

Seriously, save the polar bears!

Superhero Characters and Volunteer Thank You(s)

First off, thanks to the TONS of volunteers who serve on a weekly basis @ CF. Honestly, we could not do what we do without you all. CF would not exist, and I for one say thank you.

Now, I said that I was going to dress up as a Superhero/Villain, and I needed your help. Who should I be?

Captain Geiger of the Spaceship CF Enterprise... iJeff... MacMan... Bibleman... Six (the Cylon from Battlestar Galactica)... Duct Tape Man... all great ideas...

I was going to back out of dressing up. Really torn in what to dress up as.

I decided that I was going to go with Lex Luthor. I'm bald. I'm smashing in a suit. Should be a slam dunk. The problem is my big 'ol honkin eyebrows. Luthor lost all his hair in the comet crash in Supermandome... so my eyebrows and chest hair gotta go. Relax, I'm not that guy. I don't wax. The Goatee? well, maybe that's expendable...

So I struggled with who to be. Leave it to Paul Ronda for the save. "Luthor? You look more like Kingpin!"

Kingpin, in Marveldome, is a huge, bald villain/crime boss who goes at it against Spiderman, Daredevil, and a ton of other superheroes. He's a beast of a man, and if he's coming at you full steam ahead, you better move... I'm really not 6'7" and 450lbs, but you get the idea.

Yeah, that's who I am. Kingpin...

So thank you, Paul, for hooking me up with the idea. I LOVE IT! BTW, Paul, You get the giftcard hookup that I aforementioned in my blog. Tell me which store you want it from. AND since I don't think you read my blog, if someone could tell Paul he won, that'd be great.

So did I pull it off? Eh, it could've been better. But I win the COMMITMENT award for shaving the Goatee just for this event!

Thanks again to all our volunteers, especially our Media crew! You are greatly appreciated!!!

When Computers Lie, or why Jeff had a gun pulled on him tonight...

The following is 100% a true story. God as my witness. Not making anything up. This happened Thursday night/Friday AM.

11:45pm I leave CFPB, taking Stephen (one of my lighting volunteers) home. Stephen lives in some apartments down by Southland Mall.

11:56pm I drop Stephen off and leave his complex

11:58pm I pull up to a stop light next to a car. I'm in a not-great neighborhood. A cop pulls up behind the car next to me.

12:00am Cop flashes his lights at me and pulls me over. I'm in the parking lot of the Harley Davidson Shop at US1 and the Turnpike.

12:01am I get my license and registration out. I take my seat belt off to get my license out of my wallet.

12:02am He approaches my car. My license and registration in my left hand out the drivers-side window. My right hand laying still in my lap.

12:03am He has pulled his gun on me, asking me several times if I have any weapons or drugs in the car. I have both my hands out the window, trying not to get shot.

12:04am He asks if he knows why I got pulled over. I said no. He laughs at me. Here's the dialogue:

Cop: "Sir, are you aware that the license plate on your car doesn't go with your car?"
Jeff: "I'm sorry officer, what?"
Cop: "The license plate on your vehicle. It's not registered to your vehicle?"
Jeff: "But officer, I have the registration right here."
Cop: "Fine, but it doesn't go with your plate."
Jeff: "Are you saying that I have the wrong plate on my car?"
- note, I go to open the driver door to look at the plate, he moves his gun towards me... I stop opening door.
Cop: "Yes, your plate doesn't match this vehicle."
Jeff: "Sir I haven't changed plates since I got the vehicle. Are you sure?"
Cop: "That's what the computer says, and computers don't lie. Are you calling me a liar?"
Jeff: "Officer, I haven't changed the plates on my car since I got it. If it was done, it wasn't done by me. There was no malicious intent."
Cop: "This is your truck?"
Jeff: "Yes Sir."
Cop: "Who is MMA Leasing?"
Jeff: "Officer, I have no idea. I own my truck."

Cop takes my license. Sits in his vehicle. 2-3 other cops come by to make sure I'm not a threat...

Cop: "Everything's okay."
Jeff: "What happened?"
Cop: "Computer mistake. The computer read the "B" on your license plate as an "8"."
JEFF THINKS: "Yeah, call me a liar copper! Your computer stinks! Pull me over and harass me at midnight when I didn't do anything wrong? Give me a break!"
JEFF SAYS: "Thanks Officer. Have a good morning."

Sunday isn't Suck Day Eve

Time for a vote:

The graphic "Sunday isn't Suck Day Eve" is a marketing campaign currently being used in what context:

A) NFL purists claiming Monday Night Football should be back on ABC (as opposed to ESPN)

B) Churches, after hearing "Sunday @ Church Sucks" so many times, have started a slander campaign against the other days of the week.

C) Job Finder website, trying to convince people to get out of the depression that is the work week.

Here's your answer... Go Career Builder!

Pretty sad, though, that to a large portion of the population 16% of the week is lost behind the drudgery of their 9-5 lives. I guess that's what happens if a person's identity is locked into what they do...

Who are you? What is your identity? Job, Kids, Church, Hobbies, Sports, Friends? Lately I've been reevaluating my own identity and I'd love some feedback...

Battlestar Galactica Returns

All is right with the world.
Or worlds, in this situation.

After an extended hiatus due to the writer's strike, new episodes are coming back on TV... and with that comes the concluding season of Battlestar Galactica... If you've never watched a fr*cking episode (can I say that?), you truly are missing out. Don't miss out any more! Check out this video synopsis, where the editors combined three seasons of storylines into an eight minute clip creatively entitled "What the fr*ck is going on?"

Battlestar Galactica, the fourth and final season, debuts Friday, April 4th at 10pm on SciFi...

Also, for the loyal fans, BSG cast recently presented David Letterman's Top 10. Courtesy of YouTube...

Insert Caption

Come on, like I wouldn't take the opportunity to get my photo taken in a coffin. I've been thinking through what I wanted the caption to say here. The best I could come up with was: "Momma was right. This job would kill me..." but that's just not good!

With the Superhero post you've already shown you're more creative than me. Tell me what you want the caption to be!

FYI the coffin is eerily comfortable.

BTW, thanks to Rick Blackwood for taking the picture with my iPhone. It's not often you find a Pastor who is willing to let you climb in a coffin located in his office, but it's not often you find a coffin located in a Pastor's office either?

What's a coffin doing in Pastor's office? Come this weekend to CFPB or CFH and find out.

Jesus' Guest Appearance on LOST

In a move set to stun dozens, Executive Producer JJ Abrams has announced that Jesus Christ will be making a 3 week special appearance on LOST for the May "Sweeps Season". Honestly, as a regular viewer of the show, I can't say I'm surprised. Straight up, the show wasn't making any sense before, and having Jesus show up on an island in the mid-Pacific wouldn't be the weirdest thing to happen on that show (or have you forgotten about Smoke Monster or the four-toed mega-statue?)

I kid, I kid. Thankfully we will not be hearing "Jesus, please put down the semi-automatic weapon!"

The above photos are stills from "The Visual Bible: The Gospel of John", a movie-DVD that was released a couple weeks ago. The main actor, Henry Ian Cusick, is known for his role as Desmond Hume on LOST... Henry is going for a slightly different role this time around. Instead of portraying a Irish marathoner with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome known to travel time and run around naked... now he's playing Jesus Christ. No typecasting there. Don't think Henry will do much method acting for this one. The death scene is brutal!

Note to LOST writers, please don't put Jesus Christ on the Island.

Thanks to, well, somebody for finding this. I read this a week ago on somebody's blog, and when I went to find the post again... I couldn't! If you wrote about this, let me know so I can give you credit! Sorry!

Thanks to Jon Sampson for finding this info for me. You can read his post, but I think you'll like mine better.

Jeff the Superhero/Villain

I've got a challenge for you, my readers...

CF recently announced that the next Ministry Rally/Volunteer Festival (in May) is going to be a SUPERHERO theme, and since I'm the comic book junky... I HAVE TO DRESS UP FOR THIS ONE... I'm usually not the guy that gets hyped up for dress up parties, etc... but come on, this is superheroes!

Since it's been established that I'm not that creative... I'm opening the floor to you... who should I be? It could be an existing superhero (Superman, Batman), a "hero" that's not Super (Locke from LOST) or someone you made up... (Captain Underpants). I'm even cool with being a VILLAIN!

Please be sensitive to the fact that I am a LARGE, bald man with a goatee... no one wants to see me in a Catwoman costume... and if you do, then you've got other problems... Just make me: 1) Culturally relevant - 2) Cool looking in my proposed costume - 3) Irresistible to women, well, maybe not.

The winning idea will get a $50 giftcard to C28 or The Living Word... winner's choice. After the winning idea is chosen (by myself and a panel of my choosing) I will open the floor again to costume design ideas...

Comment, email, or call in ideas...

LOST: Via Domus Video Game

Have I been living on a semi-deserted island? How is it that I didn't know LOST was coming out with a video game? LOST: Via Domus (latin for "way home"... yes I know latin...) released two weeks ago and I had no idea. It's for XBOX 360, PS3, and PC. I'm dying to buy it, but I don't want to shell out $60 for a video game that stinks.

Anybody have any gameplay experience on this? Cool? Not cool?

Honestly, most video games (shoot-em up type) I just don't get into. I need to get "lost" (pun not intended) in the environment, "lose" myself in the video game. And the idea of "losing" myself on that Island... well, I'm wondering what time Best Buy opens, or if I'm better off getting it online...

I'm disappointed it's not on Wii, but I'll have to wipe the dust off my 360 (while turning off the cell phone).

If you didn't know anything about the game, either, check out the trailer below, or visit the official website.

BTW, check out my Twitter feed if you want to see who Ben's spy is on the boat. NOTE, I never give up my sources...

Not so Fast, and Not at all Furious

I got to relive my past last night. I was down at CF Redland doing some ProPresenter training. Afterwards, I walked out of the worship center with a couple volunteers, and I saw her...

Okay so "her" you would think would reference my wife. While that is a major part of my past, I had another "her" before that particular "her".

Meet Jeff Reed. 16 years old. Smiling. Why? Plenty of reasons, but one of which is because he's driving that awesome piece of machinery. 1992 Dodge Stealth ES. Sunroof. Spoiler. Stereo. Awesome.

Unfortunately, summer of 1996 I said goodbye to my baby when it got totaled right by the CF Palmetto Bay Campus (great story... maybe for another day...)

So let me get back to last night. I walk out with the volunteers and I see my baby, my Dodge Stealth, sitting in the parking lot. My heart jumps. I talk to the owner for a while, Steve, sharing stories. Then I find out that Steve is selling the car...

My heart jumps... I can get my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs... sorry...

So, blog readers, I ask the question. Is it weird that I want to regress back to my High School years and drive my baby? Is this my pre-midlife crisis? Or is a workaholic allowed a break?

(As a side note, it's gets better gas milage than my truck does... and no, I wouldn't get rid of the truck...) If you've got thoughts, share 'em.

10 Reasons Amy & I did not do Christmas Cards this year

Amy and I skipped our annual tradition of sending out Christmas Cards and letter this year. Believe me, I feel horrible. Truly, truly horrible. For many of you, your holiday season has just been ruined, and I hope that by notifying you this far in advance you can get over the heartbreak in time to get back in the season. I sincerely apoligize. But, I've got a lot of good excuses... well, a couple good ones anyway...

10 Reasons Amy & I did not do Christmas Cards this year
10. Come on, like you need to see another picture of my bald head and goatee?

9. God has not answered my prayer request to add an eighth and ninth day to the week. Probably for the best. If I had the option I would work those days too.

8. Don't know if you've heard, but CF has two new campuses...

7. The highlight of the Christmas letter was keeping everyone updated on Amy's and my life. Now with the blog, you get DAILY UPDATES. You get me being stupid 365 days a year!

6. I was informed the other day that Christmas Cards were the tool of the Antichrist. Well, at least all the Christmas Cards I had in stock at the bookstore. After all, they all had verses from NIV translation (not KJV). I was sparing you because I did not want to "lead you into sin". You're welcome. Now, as for my customers... sin away!

5. It's hard to get into the holiday spirit when you own two retail stores. I don't know if you're realized this, but Miami is a RUDE city to live in.

4. $0.41 Stamp per envelope? Let's be honest. I don't like many of you that much. Okay, maybe that's a joke. Depends... I'll have to get back to you. If you're not sure whether I'm serious or not, email me. I'll address all requests on a case by case basis.

3. Dog ate all the stamps. Last year we used him to lick the stamps... and this year he got a little ahead of himself.

2. I truly hate paper... and until eChristmas Cards are a more acceptable medium I am boycotting the industry. Stupid Hallmark. Wait, Hallmark owns Dayspring, my card vendor. I love you Hallmark. I love you Dayspring.

1. Wait, why am I making excuses, when you didn't send me a card last year! What's your excuse?

Trajan is the Movie Font

Back in eBeliever days, I loved doing graphics. I hate doing fonts. Which is why when I watched this, I smiled.

Thanks to RC @ Strange Culture for the find.

Death of the Whopper

Burger King started a national + viral ad campaign... Whopper Freakout. They went into one of their public restaurants and "pretended" that they no longer sell Whoppers. They had hidden cameras all over the place, videotaping real customer responses to the Whopper being discontinued.

Check out the video below...

Famous Blogger

After intensive research, I'm still ambivalent as to exactly what I'm doing wrong...

Thanks to Monday Morning Insight for the find.

Light Sleeping

Have you ever been awakened by the sound of your own snoring? Happened to me today... weird...

Curbie, Santa's Watchdog

In honor of the second-best prank ever pulled on me... I want to tell you one of my favorite Christmas bedtime stories... I present to you the story of Curbie, Santa's watchdog.

Most people know the story of Santa Claus. Big guy. Beard. Jovial spirit. Picture Paul Giamatti in a hat. Well, things have changed since the good ol' days.

The first Santa Claus, Nick, was your stereotypical Santa Claus. In 2007, we are actually seeing the 1,225th Santa Claus. The CTR&SFSC (Committee To Research And Scout For Future Santa Clauses) are actively scouring the world for "stereotypical" Claus replacements. For reasons we cannot specify, Santa Claus has a shelf-life of 2-3 years. The Claus & Reindeer Crap Removal Union is up in arms, as I'm sure you can appreciate. Three years is not a long lifespan. Santa Claus needs better working conditions! After the Steroid Scandal surrounding #1223rd Santa Claus, the CTR&SFSC had to change the characteristics of Santa Claus. (You'll have to Google the story of 1,223rd Claus' Roid Rage. What he did to the reindeer.... not pretty...)

But I digress. Claus #1225 was nothing like the stereotype. #1225 was 80lbs soaking wet. Beanpole. And while it's commonly known that the North Pole Technological Society is decades ahead of modern society, there are still limitations to having a beanpole for a Claus. Sure, and elf/robot hybrid (called iElf - Apple's got the rights to the device in 2015) can do the work of loading the sleigh, and Claus #1189 did develop that cool levitation device that floats the gifts straight down the chimney (w/o Claus having to go down himself). There was one problem that the North Pole Technological Society couldn't handle.

Bunny Bandits.

Unfortunately, greed has struck our holiday world, and ever since the showdown with Claus#1024, the Easter Bunny (currently up to #1,523,356,938,267) has been putting hits out on Claus whenever possible, trying to tarnish the luster of Christmas. After all, if Christmas looks bad, then maybe the retail-centric cash cows would take the jingle away from the bells... instead maybe we'd see jingle eggs? After all, isn't that what Easter is really about?

Digressing again. So the NPTS couldn't compensate for Bunny henchmen (after all, they outnumbered Claus' crew almost 50 to 1). So, NPTS and CTR&SFSC did what anyone else would do during this situation. They bought a dog.

Meet Curbie, Santa's watchdog. He may look small, but this guy kills bunnies quicker than Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.

Claus #1224 unfortunately had the pleasure of doing a trial run with Curbie. NPTS decided to do Christmas Eve walkthrough back in August in New Mexico (out by Area 51). #1224 was never seen again. The sleigh was found in Arizona, and Curbie has had the hat on ever since. Some say that #1224 escaped to Vegas to gamble away some of the money he saved (he did recently switch to Geico for sleigh insurance). Some say that Curbie pulled a "Glenn" on #1224. Personally, I think #1224 is playing Halo 3 with the rest of the Flood hanging out at Area 51. But last time I was there, #1224 was definitely not there. (Master Chief says hey).

With #1223s Roid Rage, and #1224s mysterious disappearance, CTR&SFSC is actually very nervous about the skill level of #1225 (Codename: Beanpole). As you can imagine, the CTR&SFSC went into overdrive to recruit and train #1225. He had a long way to go, and hopefully he'll get his 80lb act together and get the job done. With the help of Curbie, everything should be fine.

There was that rumor that Curbie might be working for the Leprechauns in an attempt to dethrone the English for the Irish (everyone knows that Claus is English). But surely that is just a rumor, #1224 is only hanging out with the aliens, and I have WAY TOO MUCH FREE TIME to come up with this randomality.

To my EMPS Bri, Pri, and Cait, enjoy your prank. To misquote Romans 12:19 - "Vengeance is mine ... saith the Lord".

I kicked Dolphin "Fin" & other ramblings

And by fin I mean...

Congrats to my "brother from another mother" Jeff Reed, Pittsburgh Steelers placekicker for ending a very ugly Monday Night Football game against my hometeam Miami Dolphins last night.

Doesn't take much to beat the Dolphins this year. Evidently, only a field goal. Final score, Steelers 3 -- Dolphins 0.

Where's Ricky Williams when you need him? Oh, yeah. Sitting on the bench injured.

At least we got the Canes. Oh, wait.

At least the Heat can make a push, if they can get clearance from the Nursing Home to attend the playoffs.

At least the Marli.... couldn't even finish the sentence.

Wait, I've got it.

At least Barry Bonds is indicted, and may never play ball again. Finally, justice can be served and we can move on with our sports Steroid-free.

Yeah, that'll happen. And the Dolphins will win one.

Share and Share Alike

If you've ever done SunPass at about 60mph, you can appreciate how this can happen.

Thanks to Kem Meyer for the find.

Historical Article

As a side note to the CF Dwntwn bit, Eddy (when clearing out some of the pews) found a Miami Herald newspaper article under one of the pew cushions... from 1959! It was a clipping of the front page... some random article about a two million dollar house being sold... wow, $2m in 1959?

What's better, I wonder if that article got lost in the worship center since 1959. It wouldn't surprise me...

Custom Starbucks Giftcards

Starbucks (commonly referred to as "Jeff's Fifth Place") is doing something really cool (hard to believe, I know.)

Custom Giftcards. They give you templates, characters, accessories. Ability to type messages. Beautiful interface. Virtual meets Physical.

Beyond that, you have a personalized credit card for Starbucks. Albeit it's a "psuedo-PrePay" credit card. But that card is a piece of me. (Mine's on the left, Amy's on the right.)

For more info, check out Starbucks.com

"INTERNET" circa 1993

1993. I connected to INTERNET via dialup modem. 300 baud. I was on AOL dialup (AOL was just available on Macs, Compuserve was on PCs. Gee, who won that battle?). AOL was the equivalent of a morality cesspool, but it was a start...

Here's a 1993 newscast talking about the birth of INTERNET... and the press' shortsighted view on INTERNET's capabilities.

Check out the YouTube video below.

How old were you when you first connected?
How fast were you connected?
What was your favorite thing to do?
And just for kicks... "What does the Internet mean to you?"

Thanks to Tim Stevens for the find.

Incriminating Evidence

You know, I tried for a long time to convince myself not to write about this. My thoughts on this were many...

Some things are just better if you let it go... It's really embarassing... I feel bad for these people... Do I share this with the world? Do I blackmail the parties on the film? What, oh what, is a blogger to do?

Well, I take it back. It didn't take that long...

Like the photo? Enjoy the YouTube video clip below.

Thanks to Jorge Molina, Campus Pastor @ CF Homestead, as well as Hal Slayden, Small Groups director @ CF Homestead and the rest of the crowd for the laugh.

Next time you share a video clip with me, be sure to delete the clip off my hard drive before I do something stupid with it.

Invite myself to dinner...

Okay, so these guys are way out of my league, but how cool would it be to be part of this conversation... for those of you completely unaware, on the left is George Lucas (Star Wars, duh!) On the right, J.J. Abrams (LOST, Alias, M:I 3, Star Trek IX).

The photo was taken by Joi, and is available on his flicker account. This photo was taken last month, but I'm sure that this film, JJ's upcoming release, was discussed.

Thanks to the person who illegally videotaped the trailer (nice person walking by at the beginning) so we can see this UNRELEASED TRAILER!

The Yet-To-Be-Named film will be releasing January 18, 2008. And believe me, we'll be talking about this film again.

Thanks to the Star Wars Blog for the find.

What's in your Wallet?

Saturday night I was having a conversation with JR Lovins (whose Generations Worship CD was officially released this weekend with an incredible worship service)...

Anyway, the gist of the conversation was how noone under the age of thirty carries cash anymore.

To my/our generation, money is strickly numbers in accounts, which is basically another set of numbers. I'm always broke. Virtually, however, I'm doing okay. ATMs, Online Banking, Direct Deposit. If I didn't own businesses, I don't think I would know where my bank is. Honestly, I'm okay with that. You're talking to a guy that still has an uncashed check that was given to me as a gift for my birthday... over a year ago!

Then I see a commercial for the next version of Monopoly... The Electronic Banking Version. Evidently, Monopoly now comes with a computerized banking system, and all players are given ATM cards. To charge rent, the leasee debits his account, and the leasor gets the money put on his virtual ATM account.

Crazy.
I'm really not okay with this.
Not because I'm a Monopoly purist.
Not because it takes learning away from a board game.
Not because we're preparing our children for the Mark of the Beast.
I'm upset because it's preventing me from cheating in Monopoly.

I'll go ahead and say it. I'm the world's best cheat in Monopoly. My wife is my witness here. I stash about $3,000 worth of $500 bills on me, and when necessary I can produce the cash I need w/o anyone seeing. But how am I supposed to stack my piggy bank if "we're doing it electronically"...

So, for my 12 game Monopoly win streak, I am officially boycotting the Monopoly: Electronic Banking version. I perfer my pretend world to have physical cash... and my physical world to have virtual cash. Weird, huh?

Honestly, if you're thirty or under, how much cash do you have on you at any one time?

Notes on Toast

I don't even like Toast, but I want one of these... don't know how it works, but you can write notes on the toaster, and it get burned into the bread. Awesome!

Thanks to Gizmodo for the find.

Animator vs. Animation

Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker on deviantART

Ironic little animation. Interesting if you view this through a Spiritual lense. God creats man. Man rebels. God deletes man... It's a postmodern story of Noah...

Of course, to quote Freud, "Sometimes a [funny little animation] is just a [funny little animation]."

Thanks to Steve Doolittle for the find.

Michael Vick Jury Selected

Thanks to Michael Zambrano for the find.

Stuck on an escalator

Please find below a hilarious YouTube video...

There's a lesson here... thoughts?

Thanks to Swerve Blog for the find.

John & Linda's "30 Hints"

Thanks to everyone who helped make my 30th Birthday last a full week! Emails, TXT messages and Facebook posts flooded in. I promise, this will be the last Birthday post. (I'll find something else to obsess over). Hope you took advantage of my Reverse Birthday Gift. If not, too bad for you. There was something, though, I had to share with you.

I got a Birthday card from my parents. I hear you... "Big friggin whoop." What makes my parent's cards cool every year is NOT the card, but the crazy crap they write in the card.

For my 30th, my parents gave me a list of 30 "Helpful Hints" (read: Things To Do). Nothing like giving a workaholic a list of things to do... where needed, I will add my thoughts below [in brackets and italicized text].

Without futher delay I present My Parental's Helpful Hints:

1) Brush your teeth
2) Change your undies - [I wondered what that smell was...]
3) Kiss your wife (Amy) - [not to be confused with my other wife?]
4) Don't forget to walk Beowulf
5) Call your Grandmother
6) Pray daily
7) Drive carefully - [maybe I should take back the Cadillac XLR then...]
8) Pay bills on time
9) Open your mail
10) Be nice to strangers
11) Lock your doors - [uh, yeah... we live in Miami. Goes w/o saying.]
12) Comb your hair - [it's a good thing I'm not sensitive...]
13) Compliment your employees - [stupid morons]
14) Run frequently
15) Work in the yard!! "We beg..." - [um... yeah... I'll get back to you on that.]
16) Put in drycleaning - [I haven't done drycleaning in a year, why start now?]
17) Invest wisely
18) Don't work harder - [I thought they would have said "instead work smarter."]
19) Get the truck washed - [Last time I did that I also put in my dry cleaning.]
20) Call your parents
21) Fill your gas tank at 1/4 left
22) Clean the garage
23) Eat your veggies
24) Chew with mouth closed
25) Get more rest - [is that before or after I do this list?]
26) Write more blogs
27) Play more games
28) Listen to more music
29) Buy your wife flowers - [but they die like 2 days later...]
30) Do something you want to do!!

Thank you, Mom and Dad. Even at age 30, your written reminder serves as notice that I will forever be your little boy... a much bigger, bald, goateed little boy looking to pay someone to pick the weeds out of his yard.

What hint would your parents leave for you?