Just heard from my buddy @onballoons that the Southern Baptist Convention is considering renaming itself. They have brought on a task-force of sorts, as I understand, to rename the organization. As a former SBCer, I just smile. Cause renaming an organization is going to solve all your problems...
@onballoons, being a faithful SBCer and a current student at SEBTS, sent me several recommendations: Great Commission Convention, Global Baptist Conv, Int'l Baptist Conv
These are all nice and pretty. What a good boy @onballoons is.
Probably a good thing he left Miami before I had a chance to totally corrupt him.
To that end, I give you my Top 10 potential Southern Baptist Convention names...
10) Southern Baptist Convention 2.0: SBC doesn't need a new name. Just slap a 2.0 suffix on it. Create a social media portal for your members to hang out in. You know, like a Baptist version of Facebook... You'll be set. Your denomination is fine. Just needs a little 2.0 love.
9) SBC.tv: Facebook's not enough. If only there were a way to be trendy, multi-technological, relevant... oh, we'll slap a .tv on the end. This will also help connect people with the rich history of televangelists that have worked so tirelessly in the past to contribute to your denomination.
8) BRU: I never really understood Campus Crusade for Christ ended up changing the name to CRU... but hey, we should totally do that. BRU! Oh, I see CRU is the first three letters of CRUsade. Forget BRU. Then let's call ourselves BAP. Our logo could totally look like the GAP logo. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.
7) "_____": The denomination who's name we do not speak. Ironically there's a movement among SBC churches to leave the word Baptist out of the name. Instead of shunning this practice, embrace it! Name? What's in a name?
6) Mega-convention: Following the NCAA College trend to mega-conferences, SBC & Presbyterian Church of United States of America (PCUSA) will announce a merger. This Mega-convention will be ground-breaking, and will cause for new rivalries among churches as they face off against new opponents each Saturday night on the field. Theological issues? It'll be a slugfest each week.
5) Simple Convention: Hey, if Simple Church (by Eric Geiger) can revolutionize the church, why not see if it can make a dent in your denomination? If Simple Convention doesn't work, try Purpose Driven Convention, Sticky Convention, Your Best Convention Now, Teach me how to love your Convention...
4) Lifeway: SBC already has a perfectly good secondary brand. Just bring it over to the church. Large sections of Christian Culture buy books from Lifeway Stores... if it becomes the name of the denomination, does that mean we can get tithe credit for buying copies of Love Wins? Or is Lifeway allowed to carry Love Wins? Oh, wait, was I not supposed to ask that? #badtheology #myfault
3) CC (Conservative Convention): It's common knowledge that Baptists are one of the more conservative denominations. Embrace that. Call yourself the Conservative Denomination. Ironically, the abbreviations CC may be too forward for the denomination to tolerate. (Think Email humor).
2) Bapster: Sources recently reported that Netflix is spinning off it's DVD-rental service, starting a second company called Qwikster. In that vein I give you Bapster! It's trendy, it's illogical, and it's bound to fail! Bapster... when your have major conceptual flaws, just spin off the company, give it a second name and pretend everything will work out!
1) Southern Baptist Convention: or... just keep the name and work hard to change your reputation. Change the culture of the convention by changing the culture within... not be filing some governmental form to rename non-profit orgs or filing a DBA for your organization.
Honorable Mention: iBaptist (since that did so well for Apple/Steve Jobs) it would HAVE to work for us!
I joke. Kinda. To the SBC out there, good luck in redefining who you are. Be wise in your steps, and be sure that your name matches your actions... and your actions match your name.