Thanks to everyone who helped make my 30th Birthday last a full week! Emails, TXT messages and Facebook posts flooded in. I promise, this will be the last Birthday post. (I'll find something else to obsess over). Hope you took advantage of my Reverse Birthday Gift. If not, too bad for you. There was something, though, I had to share with you.
I got a Birthday card from my parents. I hear you... "Big friggin whoop." What makes my parent's cards cool every year is NOT the card, but the crazy crap they write in the card.
For my 30th, my parents gave me a list of 30 "Helpful Hints" (read: Things To Do). Nothing like giving a workaholic a list of things to do... where needed, I will add my thoughts below [in brackets and italicized text].
Without futher delay I present My Parental's Helpful Hints:
1) Brush your teeth
2) Change your undies - [I wondered what that smell was...]
3) Kiss your wife (Amy) - [not to be confused with my other wife?]
4) Don't forget to walk Beowulf
5) Call your Grandmother
6) Pray daily
7) Drive carefully - [maybe I should take back the Cadillac XLR then...]
8) Pay bills on time
9) Open your mail
10) Be nice to strangers
11) Lock your doors - [uh, yeah... we live in Miami. Goes w/o saying.]
12) Comb your hair - [it's a good thing I'm not sensitive...]
13) Compliment your employees - [stupid morons]
14) Run frequently
15) Work in the yard!! "We beg..." - [um... yeah... I'll get back to you on that.]
16) Put in drycleaning - [I haven't done drycleaning in a year, why start now?]
17) Invest wisely
18) Don't work harder - [I thought they would have said "instead work smarter."]
19) Get the truck washed - [Last time I did that I also put in my dry cleaning.]
20) Call your parents
21) Fill your gas tank at 1/4 left
22) Clean the garage
23) Eat your veggies
24) Chew with mouth closed
25) Get more rest - [is that before or after I do this list?]
26) Write more blogs
27) Play more games
28) Listen to more music
29) Buy your wife flowers - [but they die like 2 days later...]
30) Do something you want to do!!
Thank you, Mom and Dad. Even at age 30, your written reminder serves as notice that I will forever be your little boy... a much bigger, bald, goateed little boy looking to pay someone to pick the weeds out of his yard.
What hint would your parents leave for you?
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