Where do you want me to go?

I'm going to be honest with you, I track your movements. Not in the stalker way, but in the cyber-stalker way. RUNwithGOD.com has really been growing as of late, and I just love seeing how people are finding me, and what they're reading when they are on the site. Does that make me creepy?

You'd be shocked how people are finding me. I'm building a decent amount of link-love among friends and associates, but more than that Google loves me. :)

Obviously, Andrew Allard and his story has brought in a lot of traffic. So has people wanting more information on Christ Fellowship Homestead.

However, I got a search the other day that made weep. Somebody searched on Yahoo.com:

"God i wish i could type to you on the internet and you could respond to where you want me to go"

And somehow, they ended up on my site. I'm actually the #1 listed site (or I was as of the posting of this blog). First off, it's crazy to think how that search gets to my site. However, what I'd rather focus on is the mindset of the person that does that search.

I've already said that I love observing people, but this one really hit home. Why? Because this person I've never met could very well have been me 5 years ago. Back then I was floundering. I was seeking purpose, felt a calling of God but really had no direction. I used to pray "God, just tell me what you want me to do. Give me a sign so I can go there, get there, and do mighty things in your name." It would always anger me that despite my passion to see God glorified, I just never seemed to be on the same page as God. I was the guy typing in a search engine "God i wish i could type to you on the internet and you could respond to where you want me to go."

Wouldn't it be great if communication with God was that easy? Drop him an e-mail! The Creator of the known Universe certainly doesn't have time to talk with a peon like you. However, as a Christian I believe it is that easy. I believe in the power of prayer, and talking to God as a Christian is really not that difficult. However, getting God to "respond", at least in terms you want to hear, is a lot more difficult. Sometimes prayers sound like empty echoes bouncing off a wall. Othertimes, you can feel an answer, but it's not something you want to hear. I can't tell you how many times I had a passion for something, only to hear "wait". Doors would open only to see them close quickly and mysteriously. In my heart of hearts, what should have been "Yes" moments were "Not Yet". Frustration builds... God, let me do this. Better yet, let me do something! I don't want to flounder here anymore. Let me loose for your kingdom!

I used to tell people "I just wish God would show me where He wants me in 10 years so I know what direction to go." The funny thing is, if God showed me then where I am now, I would have laughed in His face. Two businesses? Five years ago I don't think I could have spelled the word business. Missional? What does that mean? Multi-Site Church? Like a franchise? Why would a church want to do that?

As a young, driven, impetuous, workoholic for God, I wanted to attack the world for the Kingdom. It never occured to me that I wasn't equipped for the impact God wanted from me. How was I to know that God would have me in the business world, that I would be doing unconventional ministry... that was never in MY PLANS!

And therein lies the problem.  It's not in communicating with God. It's not in Him communicating with us. It's in the "I wish". My will got in the way. God, why can't you see things my way. God, I'm tired of waiting. God I really want to be over here doing this. God, this is a great opportunity for me here. Put me in coach, I'm ready to play! Funny, I can't think of anyone in the Bible that God changed His mind for. Why should He do it for me?

So to you, person searching "God i wish i could type to you on the internet and you could respond to where you want me to go" hang in there. Know that it's not an easy road. But it's one worth taking. God's not done equipping you, but when it's time to run, be ready to RUN! You'll know when it's time. You'll see God right beside you. Kill your will, your desires. Take your world apart, allow God to break and remold you. And in God's time, you'll begin to see.

God, thank you for not listening to me years ago. Thank you for the road you've brought me on. Thank you for using me here and now, and help me to continue on this path staying strong. I only hope I'm worthy of the cost You paid for me.

Comments

[RC of strangeculture]

I love your post here...

One, because i like to see what searches bring people to my blog...although my searches are not nearly as interesting...examples from today:

- iranian president looks like steve carell
- chapter 27 jared leto oscar buzz
- ellen ripstein nude strange

Second, I completly understand your sentiment in regard to these issues and trusting God through life's journeys. I think sometimes if God told me exactly where he was going to take me, I certainly wouldn't be prepared or need to trust him.

(note: Ellen Ripstein is bizarre crossword puzzle champion and does not appear nude on my blog)

[Randall Oliver]

I just lost my job, but I am not concerned about making it because I know God will provide. I just need to know where God wants me, and I too typed in to the internet "where do you want me to go to work?" and your answer is just what I feel in my heart but I really do not want hear this right now. We need money to get by and a job for the security . You see I have a two year old son who is counting on me, and a great wife who is looking to me for guidance and security also. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME Thank you and may GOD richly bless you and this ministry. Randall

[Vince WEsterman]

Today I searched "God, where do you want me to go" and ended up here. I figured if God created everything, surely he can reach me this way in some kind of mystical electric supernatural way and nobody would have to know. And who would believe me if my moniter suddenly lit up the room before it exploded in glory. Im where you were five years ago and want to know now. After reading, however, I was reminded that it is not on my clock that God decides when to answer. I cant imagine what a mess i'd be in if he answered my prayers the way I wanted Him too. Out of love He makes me patient, waiting for the most oppertune time to answer. Let us remember. it is for His Glory and being His, we must be patient. He knows when what we want to to for Him is the right time. In the mean time , study His word and gird yourself with the armor of God to fight in hte day when he calls you.

[poline gunda]

This is very true and it feels like that at times that you want God to respond but he seems far

[Lisa]

I also typed "where does God want me to go" in frustration a few minutes ago because I got tired of typing "what does the bible say about guidence/direction" I've been floundering and settling for so long I don't know what to do now. I also lost my job last week, which was great because I had been praying "Lord if you have a great plan for me get me out of here" and He did although I wrongly assumed that I was going to get another job. I don't know what I have enough faith for? And I am a single Mom with a 10 & 21 year old in the house and though I've been through worse scraps before they cost me everytime. I thought it was all supposed to work out for good. I hope my story turns out like yours.

[Terri Shaffer]

Thank you. I also typed in, "God where do you want me to go...please help me." I feel so very lost and I pray and pray. But like you said it feels as if my prayers art just bouncing off of empty walls. I wish I could just feel a presence or have a deep notion about what I should do about all the problems I have. Do I just leave them to him to handle? I feel as if he has done enough and I should take care of my own problems. Is that wrong? The only thing is that I can not fix my problems by myself. So what do I do? I feel so very alone and he is the only one that I have ever been able to release all of my issues onto. I just wish I knew what to do from here. I try and try and I don't ever seem to get anywhere. Always in the same situation, dealing with the same problems. I am been the law abiding citizen, always do good, always keep things fun and happy. I am always there for others and yet I always seem to have problems in life. I can not seem to get a break and yet around me there always seems to be someone that gets everything they want with out effort. I work so very hard and try to be a geniunely nice person to everyone and I get depressed when I see someone get something the wrong way. I just feel lost and like I am all alone. Did I do something so very bad that the lord would wish me to be in this position? How do I fix it? Am I not trying hard enough? What does he want me to do....I give to others when I don't have enough for myself and yet I am punished? Is this just how it has to be? I know I am not to question anything that happens to me, but I am just confused and I don't know what he wants me to do. I so wish he could just tell me in a dream or just type me back. He is the lord...he can do anything and everything. Why not help me? Or is he and I am just blind to it.

[Sadia]

I just typed "God i wish i could type to you on the internet" and this is where i ended up. I have been struggling with My PhD studies in Math and been wondering if this is still where God wants me to be. I prayed and asked God for guidance a few years back and i truly felt in my heart that this was the direction He wanted me to take. I see no connection between God and math though, and am so ready to give up, but i still feel like holding on. I got married and now have a 7month old baby. My mind is not in books at all, and yet this is what i depend on to bring in the money. I have been thinking alot about the famine-stricken children in Africa since i had my baby. I am so confused about this. I know that God is not a God of confusion.
I am asking for a sign, anything, concerning my PhD studies. Should i give up, or what do i do. Please help, pray for me to find God's will concerning this.

[Jeremy]

I am a disabled Veteran and I typed in "were do you want me to go". Bada Bing here I am. I am looking in the literal since as my life basically ended at 24 years of age. I am now 28 and have no where to go. Unemployability status from the VA keeps me alive and I am so blessed to have it. I don't complain about it I praise Him every night for it in fact. I just have no one in my life to cling to "in a matter of speaking" and I want that. I am currently a guitar player in a worship team in a town of about 200. I love this place but I feel I am needed somewhere, where? I don't know. I have to get checked for my VA status and I am scared to death, I leave my life in His oh so capable hands. Lead me God I'm all yours

[Sylvie]

My parents both have work and we just bough a house, but our old one still hasn't sold and we are 12,000 in debt. It's come to the point where i don't know if i can go to college anywhere next year, let alone back to my dream school that i've already been at for a year. I am a 17 year old sophomore in college, and don't want my work to be wasted. I have studied and tried so hard to get where I am.
God is breaking me so hard this time, it hurts. I typed in "where do you want me to go" tonight, and came here. Whoever reads this, please pray what I can be humble and willing to be led, no matter how hard it is or how much it hurts. Or, pray for a miracle.

[Cara]

WOW! more later... that's all I can say right now! May God bless you -- Thank you!